Let us introduce the Breath-o-Matic alcohol sensor.
The Breath-o-Matic is an electronic, non-invasive method of measuring
a human’s blood alcohol content (BAC). Its elegant, yet discombobulated
design embodies a cheerful mix of mechanical and semiconductural components.
Simply blowing into the mouthpiece causes the Breath-o-Matic to automatically
begin taking a sample of your own foul morning breath. If you’ve
partied sufficiently hardy, then you may also have a chance of making
the high score list. You’ll then have the pleasure of seeing your
name up on the wall of shame, along with up to nine other drunken slobs.
Of course, if you don’t make the high score list on your first try,
don’t despair! At college, the night is always young!
Please note that the designers
and manufacturers of the Breath-o-Matic do not advocate excessive
alcohol ingestion, and the Breath-o-Matic should not be viewed
as an excuse, nor as a motivation for binge drinking. Additionally, the
designers and manufacturers of the Breath-o-Matic make no claims
about the Breath-o-Matic’s ability to detect “legal BAC limits”
for the purposes of driving, operating heavy machinery, or attempting
to engage in stimulating conversation with members of the opposite sex.